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Abduction Chronicles

[ website | Astromeria ]
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Mizza Pizza [Jul. 8th, 2009|08:39 pm]
[Tags|]
[My Location |The Yarrow//Work]
[Current Mood | full]

Pizza is good.
I like Pizza.
Because it is good.

Did you like that little poem? Cause I sure did! Oh boy! I'm having a mix of a sugar high and a full stomach. It's weird. And my holes are full of food and it feels gross. I have all sorts of physical feelings going on at once. My body is so confused!

WHOA... that little alien emoticon is CREEPY when it's full. I don't really like it... it looks like he has a fluffy beard that's the same color as his skin... that's just not right.
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Ronery??? [Jul. 7th, 2009|08:16 pm]
[My Location |Work]
[Current Mood |I don't know]

Yeeeaaaah just totally got.. unhappified in like... 20 minutes time. Who the hell knows why. I just felt really alone sitting here at my desk eating a grilled cheese. Me + finding a decent man = seemingly very unlikely.

I'm tired of being alone. I mean... I don't mind it I guess but... it'd just be nice to have someone. It's lame I live so far out of the city, that in itself is a pain + I live with my parents. I'd end up driving out to him all the time and I just don't want to do that. Fuck it.

I don't know... I guess I'm just kinda pissed at life right now.
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BADEH!!! [Jul. 6th, 2009|08:10 pm]
[My Location |Work]
[Current Mood | hungry]

Today... I got up, watched Merlin, then plugged in LOTR the Fellowship, knitted aaaaand drew a bit. Then I came to work... as usual.

Now... I'm going to get some ice cream from next door and eat it. :) My holes are healing but I still have to wash them... which is completely disgusting aaand uuuuhhh... not much else has gone on.

I can't wait until next week, I get to see American Idol! :D
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Update my Squirrellies!!! [Jul. 5th, 2009|08:00 pm]
[Tags|, ]
[My Location |Work]
[Current Mood | creative]

"Watching white moon face
The stars never feel anger
Blah, blah, blah, the end" - Fight Club

I've been reading that book. :) Hence the quote! Wahlaaa!!!

I've also started knitting again! Which is an A+++. I'm making myself a nice fuzzy warm scarf. Then I will proceed to make scarves for my brother and step dad... then I just may promote myself to making mittens.

Saw Public Enemies yesterday! It was really good, I enjoyed it. Apparently it's pretty historically correct and the way he was portrayed in the film is correct as well. :) I love that.

I've also been drawing more again. I uploaded a picture of a Celtic Goddess to my Dev art, and I'm currently working on a mermaid playing a harp and a portrait of Medusa(which was inspired by Clash of the Titans!).

My social life isn't very eventful. I'll be hanging out with Derek this Thursday and then that weekend I'll be drinking with some coworkers. Being social hasn't been on my life's menu lately.

Anyhow, if any of ya'll have a Deviant Art, you should look me up, Astromeria is my username. <3
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TEEF [Jun. 29th, 2009|09:36 pm]
[My Location |Work]

EW TEETH EW!!! WHYYYY?!?!?!? I can't wait until my caves seal themselves and I'm healed and fancy again. Seriously, this whole cleaning my holes thing is really fucking gross and I'm getting tired of it. FUCK YOU HOLES!!! I hates you >:(

Ok so... story time... then more blog business.
Once upon a time there was a grape. He was small and wizzily. Because he was smaller than all the other grapes, he became insecure and because of that he turned into a bully. He'd pick on other grapes and befriended the biggest dumbest grapes of the... patch. One day he saw a chick that he decided he wanted to have grape love with so he asked her out. She declined and he got pissed and became even more persistent. Well, she became so annoyed with this stupid wizzily grape that she Beat the FUCK out of him and his cronies. She crushed his small wizzily head with her sweet red high heel shoes (she's wearing red because that's the color of blood! And unfortunately she runs across a lot of stupid wizzily guys so she crushes a lot of heads. And YES grapes bleed red... well, these grapes do anyway.) and his blood and grey matter (or green matter!)came drizziling out all over the place. The End! :D

Good story ya? I thought so. I think I thought of that because today on the way to work I was thinking about all the wierdos that I've had hit on me in the past. And one guy was so fucking creepy! It was when I was in Montana at a club and my friends and I were talking to a group of guys.. well.. I guess we were talking to them because of these hot asian twins and this creeper just happened to be with them. He was super tall and thin and he had ... wierd beard hair and really bad style and he was wierd and creepy and wierd. He asked me dance and I just pretended to not hear him and then he called me a bitch. The End. :)

Well, as an update to my life, besides about my teef, ... I don't really have much to say. I've been drawing more often! :D I'm drawing a picture of a mermaid playing a harp and one of Medusa. They're real purdy <3 Aaand I'll be working out more often again. I gotta build up my body strength so I can do fancy bellydance stuff like backbends and whatnot. :))) I want to get an application at this restaurant that has dancers on Fridays and Saturdays, but I can't start working there until I get my new hours at the hotel! Buh! 3-11pm just doesn't work out very well with that. Especially when I get stuck working ALL THE WEEKENDS. POOTONS!!!

So yeah... I'm feeling a bit happier too. :) Would still like to get together and drink with some friends *cough cough* Shelby and Derek! ;p

Heehee YAY!!!
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I feel the need to be pumped full of drugs and alcohal [Jun. 20th, 2009|05:53 pm]
[My Location |Work]
[Current Mood | depressed]

I feel sad. Again.
You wanna know why? I have a reason this time, really.
I feel like a coward for hiding from my mom. I'm not myself around her. I love it when she says she knows who I am, but all she knows is what she reads in her fucking astrology charts. She reads my "future." Intruder. Keep your nose out of my life. If you feel the need to read about me, then you don't really know me do you?

She's spotted my hidden septum ring a few times now. Says, "you've got something up your nose. Clean it." I tell her to "leave me alone, no one else notices anything." So she replies, "If I can see it everyone else can too." Excuse me BITCH, but no one positions themselves at an awkward angle behind me and stares at my fucking face. Plus she's shorter than me, that makes it easier to see up my nose.

I get into the same dilemma over and over again whenever I live with her. Oh, she cut my hair really short which was a surprise. It was only after she found out that I wouldn't have it in that same punkish style as before. I wanted it like Keira Knightley's hair in Domino. Turns out mine doesn't look anything like that. AT ALL. I feel like I got an old lady short cut and it's really fucking annoying. She did and good job but it's not what I wanted. And she keeps pushing that I should keep my natural hair color because it looks "best" on me. I'll dye my fucking hair if I want to you whore. FUCK.

I hate that she pushes me so much into what she wants. It'll never happen. EVER. I'm seriously thinking about just walking downstairs one day like, "look, this is me and that's all there is to it. If you can't handle that, I'm moving out. Fuck our agreement on paying off my car." I'm really rethinking just getting an apartment with Shelby or something in the future but... FUCK my stupid fucking car is so crippling! And everyone tells me just sell it but I've already put so much money into it and there's no way that I'd be able to get as much for it as I'd need. I'd still be paying off at least half my loan for a car I would no longer own. Besides, I don't even know where the title is... which is really bad.

F.M.L.

The only good thing I have going for me now is work. But that's about it.

I feel all lonely and shit again. All those who are a love interest live somewhere else. Another state... another country... whatever wherever, they're not here. None of them are here. Nor do I hear from them. I can't help but feel resentful and... neglected. Yes, there's the word, neglected. Until I find a guy that doesn't neglect me while I'm away, that's the one I'll take. It seems like they all just quit talking to me until I come back into town and then they're all over me. It's confusing, I mean, do you really like me or do you just want to get laid? Am I convenient for you or what??? Do you actually CARE??? I'D LOVE TO FUCKING KNOW!!! >:( >:( >:( BECAUSE LET ME TELL YOU, DON'T EXPECT ME TO STAY SINGLE FOR YOU FOREVER!!! I'VE TRIED TALKING TO YOU, I'VE TRIED TEXTING AND MAILING AND NONE OF IT WORKS, YOU JUST IGNORE ME, I'M FUCKING TIRED OF BEING IGNORED! LIAR, FALSE, YOU'RE ALL FUCKING FALSE!!! .... .... .... Fuck you all.

Yes... I am angry.
The End.

EDIT: Actually, I know a nice guy in Brazil... and maybe one in CDA and one in New York. I'd like to have one near by, you know, in Utah? Because them being a million miles away doesn't work for me. I need cuddles and loves damnit! Anyone know any nice guys that are single and near my area code???
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Men Confuse Me [Jun. 5th, 2009|04:37 pm]
Well, my CDA trip went well! :)
I really miss it, I want to go back sooo bad! And while I was there I ran into a couple of... ex lovers? Wannabe lovers? Anyhow, now that I've come back to SLC they won't talk to me! So ok, if you like me so much, why do you cut contact? Why don't you make any effort? I don't get it. If anything it just makes me lose even more faith in men. They're so confusing, I don't get it.

Other than that I'm just back to working, oh! I just finished reading Angels and Demons, and now I'm starting on The Davinci Code! These books are SO GOOD! OMG :D :D :D I want to go see the Angels movie, I heard it's awesome, and I definitely need to see it since I just finished the book!

So, I just decided to totally just work on myself and reflect and not think about men... even though I really want one. Hint: ONE. Just one and only one! Someone who will actually pay attention and love me damnit.

Anyway, I have an appointment to get my wisdom teeth pulled at the end of this month, I am NOT excited! :/
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CDA [May. 23rd, 2009|07:22 pm]
[Tags|, , ]
[My Location |Work]
[Current Mood | hopeful]

So I am really incredibly stoked on going back to Coeur d'Alene to visit! I really really really hope that it doesn't turn out to be disappointing! :/

It sucks though, I broke out! My hormones are all wacky and my deodorant isn't working, I had to go buy a third one that was mens tonight. Luckily that works but shit! It's so annoying! I really hate my body, my face was clearing up and then it just HAS to get all fucked up right before I leave. WTF?!? My luck fucking sucks!

*sigh* So I'm HOPING that everything goes well. I really need this to be good. Hell, I really NEED this in general. My life has been all sorts of messed up and I need a break. Please? Just one?

I mean... I thought things were getting better after I met that guy, but no. Noooo nononono he stood me up on our little date. Stood up! WTF?!?

So good luck to me on my trip eh? I can't wait to go to Takaras :)))) Yummm and to see all my friends and YAY!!!
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Insert Harmonica Music [May. 23rd, 2009|04:39 pm]
[My Location |Work]

So, we have this huge group of older people for this highschool alumni thing and the cutest old man is just sitting in the lobby. He does a little song on his harmonica and he tells me the story of how he and his wife of 60 years met.

They had a dance while he was young and working in the mines (for around $4 something a DAY) down in Provo Utah. He was telling me about how back then you never used cuss words around the ladies, it just wasn't done. So these two guys are arguing and one of them pushes the other and says F you whatever whatever. The manager of the place wasn't a big guy, but this man was since he hauled timber and whatnot for a living. So he breaks up the fight and tells the guys if they use the F word in front of the ladies again he's going to escort them out of the building, so the guys apologized. But they started up again and... I missed part of the story, someone else tried talking to me at the same time... but he threw one of them through the door? Anyway, in the end he asked this pretty lady to dance and he says, "...and we've been dancing ever since. For 60 years."

Sounds like something off "When Harry Met Sally" huh? So cute! <3
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Thoughts and Things [May. 21st, 2009|05:18 pm]
[Tags|, , , , ]
[My Location |Lost Inside My Brain]
[Current Mood | confused]

I've been thinking about things a lot recently. Me and my past relationships and what went wrong (more about my last relationship actually) and what I did compared to what they did that led to our ultimate demise. I've also tried to figure out why I can't really seem to find anyone that treats me well. I mean... my best relationships so far has been with Chance and Brandon. I can't say the same for the rest of them (there are a lot in that category), and I'm not including my one to two week relationships that I blew off. Those were ages ago and... I was a jerk. Well, except for the guys that wanted to get with me to take my V card. Fuck them (not literally).

And now I'm in the exact same situation (except now they don't want my V card, they just want to get laid). I feel like I've already put up so many walls and come up with so many things to scan for before dating or meeting somebody, but there are always those that slip through the scanner. Or those that smack right into it and I just end up disapointed at the fact that they couldn't pass in the end.

You see, I can tell if someone's a good person or not through my "vibes" or "intuition". Whatever you want to call it, I can see that aspect but, whether or not they'll end up hurting me in some way or just being shitty as a boyfriend, I can't tell! I don't know what signs to really look for, for most of them by the time you see the huge failing fault, then you're in too deep and hearts get broken.

Sometimes I just get so down because I can't help but think there's something wrong with me. I've been stood up multiple times and ditched out on and used and... so many things that just really really make me question whether I should even bother meeting people anymore. It's so hard to find decent people anymore it's ridiculous! I mean... I meet them here and there, even though things still happen that kinda fuck with my head.

Oh and there's something else, I forgive way too easily. I don't know why my head is so open. It's so easy for me to put my feet in other people's shoes and just understand and think about their situation and what they must be thinking (or at least I try) and I just forgive them for whatever it is they did to hurt me, and I forget. I've just realized how supportive and understanding a person I really am. And how it's so incredibly difficult to make me angry (unless you're my mother), and to offend me. I think only one person (at least in recent years) has been able to offend me and let me tell you what, that boy was VULGAR. It was truly disgusting the things that were coming out of his mouth... I can't even get into that one. Anyway, I guess the point of that is, when I should be pissed I'm not. When I should let them know I'm hurt, I act like everything is ok. And because of this I get walked on and fucked over.

And it's like... I know I'm not like other girls. I have morals and I want love not just sex, I don't want to use or be used for my body, and I'm tired of men assuming that it's ok to do so. I am an unrealistic romantic which is a huge issue because it's next to impossible to find a guy who's even remotely romantic. I think it's just my bad luck with relationships, I talk to my lady friends and they seem to find guys that've taken them on cute creative dates and whatever. I really don't ask for a lot, I just want to be treated right and the only high maintenence aspect in keeping me happy is attention. Just let me know you care, I like the simple things like leaving notes and flowers and (here it is my unrealistic romanticness) cuddles and kisses and cute stuff damnit! I want the cutes! Why doesn't anyone want to give me the cutes! I'm not ugly and I'm not a bitch (unless you piss me off)! So I just don't understand! >:( Is there something wrong with me? I get amazing compliments from people that I've known for a long time about how amazing I am, and how perfect I am, and all these things that I can't really see but I love and appreciate the fact that they see these things in me.

Maybe it's that these other people don't know me. Maybe it's because these other people only have one mindset of conquer and fuck. Maybe to some people the concept that I want more, I want the whole package, not just the physical, just doesn't penetrate.

See, because of all these things that have happened, because of the thoughtless selfish acts these men have done, I'm seriously hurt. I think by now I've got the great wall of China set up between me and them. It is so hard for me to trust, even a little bit. No matter how much I care for someone I just can't bring myself to trust them. My image, my fear of men is really just destroying any hope for me in relationships. I have such low confidence that if I'm with someone I need to be reminded that they care, and when I say this I mean a constant reminder. And I don't mean that they need to tell me every 5 seconds that they're madly in love with me but just with little things (see romanticness a couple paragraphs above) and I guess for some people that may turn out to be too much work which is unfortunate.

Is it that I'm too easy? And I don't mean sexually but... my mom told me that I do too much for guys. I will drive where they are to go out, I will and have done things to please them, to make things convenient for them and... I don't know could that be it? But then I'd be asking them to come pick me up from my house in Tooele to do whatever. I'm already putting my foot down about waiting a couple months for sex. Yes, a couple months. That way without it we build a real relationship instead of one based on sex and only sex. That's not what I want (and if they really want to be with me they'd show me some respect and they'd wait). Anyway, a little off topic but not at the same time... should I just start demanding certain things? I hate when my friends find these guys that will do absolutely anything for them to make them happy. Me? HA, Noooo nononono that doesn't work with the guys I end up with. Hell if I know why I can't find one, again, is there something wrong with me?

Recent events have stirred this huge torrent of thought. Comments are appreciated.
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Long Time No See Eh? [May. 15th, 2009|08:30 pm]
[My Location |Work//Front Desk]
[My Ears Hear? |Whatever's on the Radio]

I really have't been on LJ all that often recently. I don't know why but I go through LJ phases where I'm on and then I'm off and then I'm on again and then I'm off. Eh. Whatev.

Let's see... all my Brazilian boys are gone now, I've been single for a while which is fine. I like being single lol. I do really miss Marcelo, I wish he were still here in US of A. Tomorrow night I'll be meeting a guy at a club (the last one was a couple nights ago and all he wanted was to get laid. Jerk) aaand he seems really nice. I have good vibes about him and he likes to dance! Although it's a breakdance sort of thing and he's a huge raver (I for one have never been to a rave so... yeah lol).

I've been talking to my friend Andrew more often too... fuck I miss him so much. He called me the other night and it made me so so SOOO happy! :D :D :D I love that boy, I really do. I just wish that maybe we could talk more than we do, but he's busy so much that... I don't know. I just don't feel like he would really even want to take that extra step in contacting me. I feel like I ruined what I could have had with him when I got together with Scott. >_> Eh, another story for another time methinks.

And this is me! Ah ha!!! And Shelbert <3 My BFF in good ol' SLC.

Photobucket


I'm hoping that life starts looking up more. It hasn't been very nice to me and I'm kind of getting tired of it. A year and a half of bad fortune and you kinda want it to just end you know?
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The Faggot With a Tuba got FIRED [May. 14th, 2009|10:30 pm]
[My Location |Work]

YESS!!! No more David :)
Actually, this is old news. He was pretty much forced to quit because if he didn't then we would get him for sexual harrassment. What a doucher.

Life has been alright. It's sent some curve balls at me here and there but nothing terribly horrible. I have a half an hour before I get off work aaaand I can't wait to go to sleep!

I've been getting a spray on tan that's looking pretty good. I don't want to ruin my skin sooo I think this is the best thing AND I've never been tan! (not since I can remember anyway) so this is a new and exciting experience for me. I like it so far, tan skin and blonde hair. Yayeah! ;)

Ummm... Yeah, can't wait to go home. I know there's tons to update about buuuut I don't know if I have the patience right now lol. :)

Hope all is well!
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The letter to my Boss [May. 1st, 2009|04:54 pm]
Nick,

There are many things that I know for a fact based on what you asked me the other day, if David and I were still friends; that you don’t know. First off, I want to impress that everything I say in this letter to you are all FACTS. I’ll try not to put too much emotion or subjective information but for certain subjects I’m afraid I can’t help but let some slip.

First off I’ll start with the “smaller” things that David has done since a few days into his work. David tends, mostly after Aleigh is gone, and when Emilio isn’t here altogether, to take off his shoes. At first this was something that would only happen in the back office, but then he’d started wandering through the hotel barefooted (I know at least one account of this happening, otherwise mostly with socks on. Chris also saw him walking through the lobby). When you’d ask him what he thought he was doing, he’d simply say that his shoes are uncomfortable, and/or laugh and shrug it off. Second, he tends to wander off to the bar frequently despite the fact that he is on the clock and he is under age. He wasn’t any good to us up at the front desk if he was over in the bar all the time watching TV(if you have any questions on this feel free to ask Chris, he came up front and complained to Ivan about keeping David in line. This was maybe a week ago at most.). He’ll be over at the bar for hours only to emerge to take a smoke break or something of that sort. Third, he has downloaded; I don’t know what, on the back computer. Apparently that’s the only one that will allow you to, making it slower than ever (you can confirm his inquiries to Ivan about an admistrative password to get onto Aleigh’s computer, and she has also heard him talk about downloading.). Fourth, he has been caught multiple times just lounging in the lobby, and has been caught by Ivan asleep in the lobby and other areas. In detail (this is Ivan’s story, talk to him if you have further questions), David asked to take a smoke break and Ivan of course said yes. About a half an hour goes by and Ivan is wondering what has happened to his employee. He walks out and looks around the lobby to find David stretched out on one of the couches asleep. The most recent happening was just a couple nights ago; he did the same thing asking to take a smoke break. Ivan doesn’t realize that David is back from his break; in fact he was asleep in Emilio’s office. He comes out of the room rubbing his eyes asking if Ivan had called for him, and he has no pants on. He’s in the office in only his boxer shorts. At that point Ivan told him to go home. Fifth, he smokes constantly, and he can never sit still. Ivan, Aleigh and I had to tell him multiple times to tell us when he leaves the front desk if he’s the only one up there because every few minutes he’d leave and not tell us. We had no idea he was gone until a guest would walk up calling for someone at the desk.

Now, I’ll be moving on to the, what I consider, “bigger” points. These are more personal offenses he’s made against me. Ivan has been present for pretty much all of these, and he actually reminded me of one thing David said that I had completely forgotten about, so he may in fact remember more than I do. David has in fact at the very least verbally harassed me to an extreme extent. I’ll give you some examples of things that he’s said to me.

At first he’d just call me a Hussy. I didn’t like it but I didn’t mind it either, that was at that point the only thing that he’d tease me about because of the guys that I was dating. And as you know he’d flirt with me, but he’d flirt heavily, he’d actually told me that if I decided to have sex with him, we’d get a room at the Yarrow. As in, sneak into a room and do it. Sad part is that he was completely serious. He’d talk and boast about sex all the time as if trying to convince me to have sex with him. That lasted for a couple of weeks. Then he’d start making comments about me being easy, exact quotes from Ivan, David said that he liked Eastern European girls because they are easy. Ivan asked, “What does easy mean?” David, “You know, girls who are easy to have sex with.” Then he pointed at me and said “like Amanda.” Sexually wise he has slapped my butt after telling me to pinch his. And randomly he’d find ways to touch me by putting his arm around me, or he’d walk up behind me and hug me from behind. He asked me to cuddle once, and of course I said no. He makes me uncomfortable, he really does.

Now, like I said, I’ve forgotten a lot of things that he’s said to me, but one night in particular really stands out in my mind because he said very offensive and disgusting things that night. At this point I was dating someone, and David was over at my place because he was sort of dating Shelby. This is rather personal information, but it needs to be known to get the picture fully. He and I had done some intimate things, and David knew it because he was there. A couple nights later after bugging and teasing me about how “quick” it was he asks me this, “So did he go down on you?” I just looked at him. “I’ll take that as a no.” And he laughs then asks me, “Did you give him head?” I was a bit peeved at this point and I replied “No.” Then he says rather loudly, “You bitch!” This catches Ivan’s attention and he asks, “What?” David, “Amanda’s a bitch because she doesn’t give head!” So there’s part one of the night, part two is what really disturbs me. Honestly… I can’t get his words out of my head, he was so serious, and again, Ivan was there, David involved him in it and… well, here it is. The younger Mr. Hart had a guest coming in. It was a woman with her daughter. I’m sitting in back and David is checking them in, suddenly he comes in back rubbing his forehead and he tells me that there’s hot jailbait wearing a mini skirt and if he doesn’t stop staring he’s going to get slapped, he needs me to finish the check in. So I walk out there expecting a 16 year old at the youngest you know? No… she was the oldest 14 years old, she looked around 12, just hitting puberty. This was a little girl. As I’m checking them in he’s standing back there with the luggage cart waiting for them, all the while he’s looking her up and down. When he comes back he starts saying things like, (and this is really hard for me to say, I’ve only repeated it to two people) “Can you imagine how sweet her pussy tastes?” He was completely serious. I expressed to him over and over again how much it bothered me, I asked him over and over again to just stop. I didn’t want to hear what he had to say about her but he’d keep repeating it. He kept telling me how bad he wanted to have a go at her and how delicious she would taste; he kept telling me all these profane things. At one point he leaned in so he was at the most a foot away from my face, and he did it just to bother me. At this point all he would do is push at me and tease me. I know he was serious about the girl because he wouldn’t let it down; he came over for the last time that night and went off to Shelby about it before I even got home. (Another tidbit, back when he’d only been at the Yarrow for maybe a week, he was looking at pictures on the internet. The girls were in at least their undergarments, but the site was to look at the pictures and guess if they were jailbait or not.)

The next day I confronted him and since that point he hasn’t said anything, but his bad work habits have continued. I hope that if there was any chance of keeping him that they are extinguished. I refuse to work with him. I know what goes through his mind and even though he’s no longer verbal with me, I feel highly uncomfortable with him around.

Thank you for taking the time to read this Nick, I feel a bit embarrassed at the fact that I didn’t come to you sooner.

-Amanda Kwiecien
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Fuck I'm Pissed [Apr. 26th, 2009|09:52 pm]
So... Shelby just called me at work to tell me how FUCKED we are on the utilities.



Wait for it, drum roll please...



ALMOST 500 DOLLARS FOR MAY.


Which supposedly the boys were going to pay for most of it, you know, split that shit up. I seriously wish we'd of asked them how much utilities built up to in this fucking house. I've never in my life heard of such a ridiculous bill. AND apparently part of the rent wasn't paid either.


Now, this is just for March, what the fuck is April going to be like? I would love to know what the boys would have done if we hadn't of moved into this fucking house. We got so FUCKED and I'm so PISSED I seriously don't know what to do with myself right now.


Mom was right, I shouldn't have moved in. The only reason I did was because of Anton. But of course I never told my mom he was coming out here, I kept everything hush hush. I should have listened but I didn't. Although, I thought utilities may at the most be like, $60 per each of us but no.


This is the second time I've moved into somebody else's place and been completely screwed over. I never would have thought the boys possible of such a thing. It's fucking mutiny is what it is. I seriously... Fuck I don't know.

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Hmmmmmeh [Apr. 6th, 2009|05:47 pm]
So... last night Anton never came home. Shelby and I had been talking to Erin for a couple hours about him and decided it'd be best to get off the phone because we thought he'd be sure to show up. But no. Turns out (as we found out this morning) that he had stayed the night at David's house (Shelby's boyfriend type thing) and played video games. I love the fact that he never told us...

I've been reading this Irish romance series that my mom let me borrow, it's so pretty! I love the story! Right now I'm on the second one called "Tears of the Moon" and it has Irish mythology and everything in it. So pretty :)

I'm pretty thankful the ski season is almost over, I want springtime to be here, I want to go outside and soak in the sun, maybe even get a little tan this year? (As I've never done that before) I want to get a nice bronzing so my skin is all pretty and glowy! :) Especially for when I go to Brazil (which is in Feburary which means that I'll have to fake bake after the summer, ICK).

My mood's still a little off, I don't know what it is really.

Oh! I've been practicing lots for the performance this Saturday, only part of my costume will be done by then, I hope I can still do it :( It's for all the Masons! Lol, I want to ask them if they have a female group here...

Well, I may or may not write more later, we shall see! <3
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My Ear Itches... [Apr. 5th, 2009|04:12 pm]
[My Location |Work]

Yesterday I went to see Watchmen! That was a good flick, super graphic, at one point I thought I was watching a porno @_@; And there was lots of blood and epic fight scenes and yay!

Everything was fine and dandy until I drove up to the house to see all the lights off. It really made me miss the boys, this house is so empty without them. And of course thinking of the boys made me think of my favorite boy Marcelo. :( Meeeeeh. I've been talking to him again though! He said he misses me :))) That made me super happy! I love hearing from him.

I feel bad though, since I was with him I've been going on all these dates with other guys and I think it's because I'm trying to get over him. I have this horrible guilt hanging over me though, I know I shouldn't be doing what I'm doing since I feel so strongly for him still. It's bad too, he's all I think about when I'm with these guys. Gaaah!!! He has such a hold over me >__<; And I wasn't even with him for that long!

I dunno, I think I should just take a break from dating and just not do it lol. My heart is still with him and only him apparently :)
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Finchy!!! [Apr. 1st, 2009|04:35 pm]
[Tags|]
[My Location |Home]

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Poor little thing hit our back door! We've got those big sliding glass doors and he rammed right into it. We saw him down on the ground in shock so I picked him up and cradled him until he was ok again! :)))
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I have a sinus infection :( [Apr. 1st, 2009|12:34 pm]
I hate getting sick. Seriously.

Worst part is that I can't afford to go to the doctor so it's all like, home remedy stuff and herb pills and this and that and the other thing.

Tonight I have dance class! I'm really excited about it, the seamstress lady is going to adjust my costume so it fits correctly and everything.

I'm just hoping that this slight dizziness and everything goes away. Oh yeah, I didn't sleep at all last night. :( That doesn't really help my illness, sleep is really important. I hate my body lol.
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Open Journal [Mar. 29th, 2009|05:43 pm]
[My Location |Work]
[Current Mood | worried]

I have officially decided to take my journal off private. :) For reasons mostly being that I'd like my Brazilian friends to be able to see it and other such buddies <3

I have the most obnoxious cough on the face of the planet. >_<;;; I really really REALLY hates it. Seriously though, I was one of the last people to catch "the bug" that was floating around and I ended up with a fever for 3 days. I'm never sick like that! Luckily my stomach was never upset, my skin just hurt :/ aaaand now my sinuses are lame and yesterday I couldn't taste anything I ate. That was really horrible, I hope my taste buds never die.... or that my tounge's ever cut off X__X;;;

I started talking to my musician friend again (MC Lars) and he's doing well. He's going to be going to England for a month touring. Psh, lucky.

Things are alright at the house. Shelby and Anton are still searching for jobs, I'm hoping they find something soon :/ the economy is so shitty right now it's made things difficult.

I've decided officially that I need to start drawing more again. I really miss it :( Now I'll just do little sketches or whatever at work but nothing fabulous. I did start on something but I keep leaving my art stuff at my mom's place. Poo!!!

But on the brighter side dance is going well for me :) I've got my costume and everything! Yaaay!!! I'm hoping to learn the routine and beable to perform with troupe at the Masonic Temple on April 11th. Wish me luck! <3
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Friends Only [Mar. 29th, 2009|05:26 pm]
[Current Mood | thirsty]

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Hello! As you can see my profile is strictly FRIENDS ONLY. I have it this way because I don't want just anyone to see my personal ramblings. ^_^

If you're interested in being my friend, please do comment!

Thank you~~<3
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